Adopted

This year has spun itself around me with so many emotional events. I am starting to open boxes that I have kept safe and locked for years......boxes of memories that I had to put away or go crazy.
Well, they are starting to explode open and spilling out their contents all over me. Those crazy memories that I thought I had secured safely away are now dripping down my body and clogging up my brain. Damn!

I thought I had ordered my life...in a way that I could finally have a little control over it. I know that is folly, but I was happy with the lie. No longer, no longer.....

How do I handle my self image now that I know I was adopted? What do I do now? I had just gotten comfortable with what and who I was....Zack's wife, Charles and Kat's mother, soon to be retired state worker, middle aged matron who had finally come to terms with the face in the mirror.

Adopted...that happens to other people, not me. My mother.....now my aunt; my uncle, now my father and a nameless woman who was my birth mother.....and my dad not my dad. No relation at all. All mixed up in a jumble of mismatched titles.

I know I will deal with it. But it is all so much right now....too much!