Father's day and birthdays

On Tuesday, I will be 55! How in the hell did I get here and who is that old woman in the mirror?

Thought about calling my father today and then thought better of it as he has not called me in over 20 years. Tomorrow is my half brother's birthday and mine is the day aften and then the next day is my father's. Always thought it was a cruel coincidence that they would be so close. I imagine that they will celebrate my half brother's birthday today (45th).

Had a nice hour with John Long last night and he mentioned that he thought it interesting that the majority of our group is either the oldest or only child. Many of the group had or has a father that only a mother could love, so to speak. I have not figured out exactly what that means, if anything. I do know that those of my friends club are bright, verbal and often caustic. Which is why I love them. I also know that the parents we receive is truly is the luck of the draw. My mother always made me feel loved and special, so I am very lucky there. My children have both parents in their lives, but their father was an alcoholic for most of their lives. He is doing better now, but I fear that it has left a deep depression that they will have to work through as they age. Co-dependency runs deep in my family!



So happy birthday Johnny, Jr and Johnny, Sr. Happy father's day, Dad. I wish you could have loved me more.