The Wall

The only way she was going to find “the truth” and learn how to be happy with who she was was to be willing to burn down the walls she had built.

Those walls had served her well over the years, at least until now. They were tall, thick and solid. But how could those she loved really know her true self when the walls kept her from even knowing herself?

The walls however, did not want to be burned and had so far eluded their demise. They shifted shapes, colors and names to continue to defend their existence. Dammit to hell, she built those walls, she made them what they were and they were hers to destroy. How dare they want to survive. How dare they???

Sometimes she can hear them scream that she would never discover “the truth”, whatever that was. All they knew was that as long as she survived, they would be alright, They would be safe. They said that they could make “the truth” whatever they wanted it to be. They could hide it or destroy it and she could do nothing to stop them. Besides why did she want to know "the truth"?? What would "the truth" do for her that they could not?

Santa Fe

Art News

I was browsing thru OKC Craigslist yesterday and ran across some new art info. Somehow, I have not heard about this and thought I would share. Randy and Tara Feurborn have moved their studio to The Paseo. The listing stated "The Blue Moon on Paseo is a Multi-Media ART BAR". They will be presenting cutting edge, cross genre music and innovative art in a range of media, including filmmaking. They have a call to artists for their show on 2/24/06 called "Red Dirt-Growing Up OKIE". This is a themed art show and Book Signing with Author Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz. The music will be provided by the Red Dirt Rangers. The exhibit is open to all artists of all mediums. Only art on growing up Okie or what Red Dirt means to you them will be accepted. Entry deadline is Feb. 17th (Friday). For more info call them at 528-9999 or 412-7367.

I have met the author Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz when she was here in OKC for her book "Red Dirt". I had a copy and she graciously signed it. The OK State Library now has that signed copy (it was their book). I loved the book and look forward to seeing her again. Her father lives in South OKC and she visit here frequently from her home in San Francisco. It should be a good show.

On a note relating to art , I spoke to Paul Wingo yesterday. He and Betsy are in town due to Betsy's father's death. The funeral is today. Paul had come to the Red Cup to take a break. He mentioned that he will be showing some of his work in conjunction with some art classes he is wanting to start. The work will be displayed at Studio Bleu on Paseo the first weekend in March. That is the next Paseo walk. I am thinking of them today. Paul spoke lovingly of his father in law and said he was like a father to him. Naturally, this is a hard time for them. Leslie said that Lee Murphy has put together a video for the family that will be shown at the funeral.

Some random thoughts

I have worked for almost 15 years for a program that supports families who have children with disabilities. It has been both a rewarding and frustrating job. The bureaucracy can be overwhelming, but the bright spots are so wonderful. The families make it worthwhile ( most of them). I have been to 3 trainings the last two weeks. One training was on working with children who are deaf /hard of hearing, another on assistive technology (low and high tech) and the last was on autism. I have to say that I have learned the most and struggled the hardest working with those families who have children with hearing concerns and autism.

I want to share some information that really made me think. I want to preface it with I knew most of the information that I am sharing, but some of it is even new to me. There is new research out there dealing with the brain and how it works. The brain is the only organ in the body that is not totally formed at birth. It has over 100 billion brain cells just waiting for work. The baby begins at birth to learn. She learns everytime she hears her mother's voice and the fan that fascinates her as she watches it move against the ceiling. By the time that baby is a toddler of 3 those brain cells that have not made any connections (one can actually map the cells as they make a connection with other cells) go away (this is the part I didn't know). The brain continues to add brain cells through adulthood, but not at the rate that they are lost. That is why the first 3 years of a child's life is so important. It is a use it or lose it deal. Dr. Bruce Perry has done much research in this area. He has founded the Houston, TX Child Truama Academy designed to help maltreated children recapture lost potential and develop in healthier ways. He has spoken how "both positive and negative interactions with caregivers create concrete physical changes in the young brain." Perry said that "because children’s brains reach 90% of their adult size by the age of four, early childhood is a “window of opportunity” for them to get maximum benefit from positive experiences." I would love to hear him speak. He has been in Norman and I will be on the look out for him.

A cold day in February

I decided to expound a bit more about the funeral I attended recently. I meant to say that what was going to be a normal Christian funeral became a bit more than those attending expected. I loved it. Leslie has a favorite recitation called "The Nazz". It was a favorite of her husband's and so she added it to the service. As usual she did great and I hope he heard her. Here is the link http://www.informer.org/nazz.html. I have heard her do this piece over 20 times and I never tire of it. It added the "Leslie" touch that was so needed.
Rena

bits and pieces

I spent January trying to maintain my new diet and for once have been succeeding. I acutally had to purchase few pairs of pants as the old size ones were in danger of embarrassing me! So now February is into it's 5th day and it is time I added to the blog.

January and September have historically been tough months for me and in turn for my family. September is the month that my uncle and mother died. Sept. is also my anniversary month. That in itself is not bad, but often as each anniversary passed I find myself mourning the marriage that might have been. But that is a story of another day.

This January was proving to be a not tough month until my friend's husband died. We buried JW on Feb. 3rd, but he passed Jan. 29. JW was a person I did not know well, but because my friend Leslie loved him, so did I. He made her happy and that made me happy. She now calls him doteworthy. I agree. At the funeral she spoke of him in ways that I wish I could talk of my husband. She said that he never lied to her and I believe her. Her friends wondered who this man was that she was willing to cater to and to love.